"More money actually does make people a bit happier." Andrew Oswald, Professor, University of Warwick
"...and if my aunt had nuts she'd be my uncle!"
"...and Bob's your aunties live in lover!"
"I've just got two words, the first is to do with sex, and the second about transport."
"The worst thing about being alive is being aware of our mortality and being able to do nothing about it."
Don't get me wrong - these were parties where nobody else was invited but the family. These were parties to relieve the hell and tedium of being in the family.
"Think doubt and fail" Micky Adams (former Fulham FC Manager.)
From Misery
A lifetime ago I worked in the games industry, these quotes all come from the game endorfun, see also the affirmations pages for hundreds more.