A GUIDE TO WEB DOMINATION.
[ How to become a billionaire the easy way ]
by Liam DelaHunty

Monday

First thing Monday morning before you've had a cup of tea (or hot drink of preference) put a cue-tip up your nose and call the boss. You'll sound dreadful and the boss will practically give you the week off work. Immediately after have many cups of tea and eat a big British Breakfast to make sure a hangover doesn't cloud the important work you have to do today.

The important work today is to pop down the shops and look in the biggest newsagent at magazines.

Don't worry, you're not going to have to evade the shop-keeper or security and read a whole bunch, just have a look at the magazines. Think back to yesterdays idea, and see if the magazine industry thinks it's important enough to publish something on it, and for you newsagent to stock. Don't be pedantic here, if your idea is about a web site dedicated to selling specialist plumers widgets, you're pretty unlikely to find a magazine dedicated to specialist plumers widgets, but you should find a whole heap of DIY magazines. Now you've had a butchers at what's availible you need to retire for a while to contemplate the next stage of your Internet strategy.

It's at this point that any potential drossiness may start to kick in as an after-effects of the night-before. Fight fire with fire, and head off to the nearest boozer.

The web, as you may be aware, is world wide. So on the web it's okay to have a niche market and you'll still be able to communicate with 100's of thousands of like minded souls, (as long as they speak the same language). Given that, and that the big companies out there know about the web, they may also start to court the niche markets. But they'll also have the contacts, resources and staff to promote and ensure that they're business makes some money (or at least causes their share price to rise.) So what can you, the poor individual do to fight the Fascist corporates?

Nothing. Live with it. They are big gigantic sloths. Very few of these companies can actually get any work done. They have the distinct disadvantage of internal politics, jobs-worths and the most evil of all, Human Resources Departments. Combine that with the fact that they will also be quite likely to either outsouce the development of the Internet site to a directors chum or pay a new media company a couple of hundred 'thou for an online brochure and shopping cart and you'll see that they aren't your enemy. You are.